025-2Five Mistakes to Avoid While Using a Return to Work Slip

If you are planning to use a fake “Return to Work” slip for a doctor’s note, please be careful. It’s a cliché but it fits right when you are going to take the risk of using a return to work slip. It’s better safe than sorry to avoid these five common mistakes:

  • Phone Number:
    Don’t use your home phone number as the medical contact number, if you don’t want to be called into the boss’s office to explain yourself. Unless you are a medical miracle you have a brain, so use it. If you are male, be sure to check that the number you give isn’t for the local gynecologist unless you are planning a sex change. But that’s next year’s excuse. Also, verify that the clinic is still open and operating by calling the number yourself. Having your boss call the made up number, which happens to be K&K Kakes, could be a red flag.
  • Medical Facility Address:
    While you’re on the phone with the clinic, and still thinking about your legit excuse, get their address and ask for directions. If you can’t tell your human resource representative where you went, it won’t look legitimate. Don’t just pick an address from a vacant lot; it’s so beneath you. However, after you lose your job for being lazy and stupid, that vacant lot might be better used as your new fake work address.
  • Prior Excuses:
    Limit the number of excuses you make for the year to less than five and keep track of your prior excuses. If you can’t remember the last four excuses, you should consider using brain tumor as your last excuse. With your memory going, they might even send you flowers on your last day. Pick a medical excuse that a smart person would believe. Find a smart person.
  • Real Medical Problem:
    Don’t pick a medical issue by throwing darts at a medical book. If your tumor is still growing but not ready for surgery, consider the flu but not for every excuse. If you use the twisted ankle excuse, be prepared to hobble for a few days or, at least, put a rock in your shoe. Just make sure it’s in the same shoe. Migraines are great. I can’t even think straight when I have a migraine, so this should work well for you.
  • Professional Note:
    If you’ve never been sick before, and you’ve never had an actual doctor’s note in your hand, you might consider having someone write the note for you. Remember that smart person. There are plenty of fake note writing sites online that can lend you a hand. If you still want your job when you get back from your “sick” holiday, you should consider paying a professional. Don’t consider a novelty site that uses fake notes as gag gifts as you’re smarter than that and if you’re not, don’t let that smart one you found get away. Also, unless you have excellent penmanship, print your note with a printer. Yes, there’s a form for that. Use printer paper. Use Printer ink. Turn the printer on. Read more at our home page at benin2009.com. Feel free to also read this interesting article.
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